#110: Building a Stronger Farm Family
” That's why I always say things don't happen to you. They happen for you.”
Growing up in a farm family teaches you a lot—about hard work, responsibility, and what it means to build something that lasts. But it also shows you the struggles that can come with it—conflict, long hours, and the pressure to keep the family legacy alive.
That was the reality for Erica Leubner. She grew up on a dairy farm in New York, where she watched the challenges of working in a multi-generational operation firsthand. That experience, combined with her background in social work, led her to a career helping farm families navigate communication, conflict, and farm transitions. But before she found her path, she had to take a few detours along the way.
Finding the Right Path
At first, Erica didn’t plan on working in agriculture. She wanted to be a state trooper and spent time interning with her local sheriff’s department. But one day on a call, something shifted.
“I remember standing in a kitchen, watching a mother and son fight over a locked freezer full of meat,” she said. “In that moment, I realized I didn’t want to be in law enforcement—I wanted to help people before they got to that point.”
That realization led her to pursue a master’s degree in social work. While she didn’t expect to use it in agriculture at first, everything changed when she stumbled across a magnet from New York Farm Net, an organization helping farmers with both financial and personal challenges. After learning about their work, she knew it was exactly where she was meant to be.
Helping Farm Families Thrive
Through her work as a farm business consultant, Erica has helped families navigate some of the toughest challenges in agriculture—farm transitions, financial stress, and relationship struggles. One of the biggest issues she sees? Communication breakdowns between generations.
So many farm families want to pass their operation to the next generation, but the conversations around transition planning often get avoided. Parents hesitate to let go, while the next generation waits for a clear plan that never comes. In some cases, farm kids spend decades working toward ownership, only to realize the farm may never be fully passed down to them.
“There are so many farmers dealing with the carrot being dangled in front of them—working toward something that isn’t actually in writing,” Erica said. “Starting these conversations early is critical. It’s not just about protecting the farm, it’s about protecting family relationships.”
Marriage and Motherhood on the Farm
One of the most overlooked struggles in farm families is the impact of stress on marriages. Erica has seen firsthand how farm life can create tension, especially when one spouse didn’t grow up in agriculture.
“I work with a lot of farm couples where one person didn’t grow up in this life,” she said. “They don’t always understand the long hours, the sacrifices, or the financial uncertainty that comes with farming.”
She encourages couples to have open conversations, set realistic expectations, and learn how to communicate in ways that make both people feel heard. That means recognizing when a simple comment—like mentioning a full dishwasher—is actually a bid for help. It’s not just about farming; it’s about maintaining strong relationships that can withstand the pressures of the lifestyle.
Managing Stress in a High-Pressure Industry
Farming comes with constant stress—unpredictable weather, financial uncertainty, and the weight of keeping a multi-generational business alive. But many farmers don’t talk about the toll it takes on their mental health.
“We normalize stress in agriculture,” Erica said. “Droughts, market swings, equipment breakdowns—it’s all just part of the job. But that kind of stress builds up, and if we don’t manage it, it takes a toll on our health and relationships.”
One of the biggest patterns she’s seen is what she calls post-event syndrome—when farmers experience a crash after a high-stress season. Harvest ends, and suddenly, exhaustion and burnout hit hard. Recognizing this cycle and learning how to navigate it can make a huge difference in long-term well-being.
She also works to break the stigma around mental health in agriculture. Farmers are independent by nature, often believing they should “fix it themselves.” But real strength comes in knowing when to reach out for support—whether that’s from a spouse, a trusted advisor, or a professional.
Preparing the Next Generation
Erica and her husband have three daughters who are all involved in their farm, which includes both a dairy and an agritourism business. They’ve been intentional about integrating their kids into the operation from an early age—not just for chores, but as active participants in the business.
“Our girls grew up working,” she said. “Not just feeding calves for fun, but as real employees. That gave them a sense of ownership and confidence in what they do.”
She encourages farm families to involve their kids early, letting them experience both the highs and lows of the operation. That way, when it comes time for a transition, they’re prepared—not just with skills, but with a real connection to the farm.
Making the Future of the Farm Stronger
For families looking to transition the farm, Erica emphasizes one key point: Don’t wait. Conversations need to start early, and expectations should be clear. Is the farm financially viable to support multiple families? What role does each person want to play? Is there a structured plan in place for passing down ownership?
“These are not easy conversations, but avoiding them doesn’t make them go away,” she said. “If you want your kids to have a future in agriculture, you have to be intentional about setting them up for success.”
At the end of the day, farming is about more than just the land or the business—it’s about family. The more intentional families are in managing relationships, stress, and long-term plans, the stronger their operation will be for generations to come.
To connect with Erica, you can find her on TikTok or email her at ericaqleubner@gmail.com.
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About the Host of Farming On Purpose, Lexi Wright:
I’m your host, Lexi Wright. I started the Farming on Purpose Podcast from a passion for sharing the future of production agriculture.
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